One thing I hate about movies is the ending. I don’t care what genre of movie it is or what kind of ending it has. Whether they all live happily ever after, break out into dance, or everyone gets killed, I am always left with the same sense of sadness as the credits roll in. I’m not sure why, and it is entirely in my head, but the ending of movies never fails to make me want to curl up into a ball and cry.
I’ve watched enough movies and been taught enough times in English class to understand an established storyline. The intro, appearance of a problem, rising action, climax, falling action, and finally, the resolution. The ebb and flow. The full circle of a good story.
As one does, I apply this to my life in an attempt to feel like the main character. You know what they say; “treat your life like it’s a movie and you’re the main character.” But there becomes one inevitable issue: once I reach the resolution, I just get sad. I’ve finished the movie and I don’t know what to do next. It’s like I put in all this work and now I’m just… done?
I guess any normal person at this point would be excited that they finally finished the movie. I imagine they would look back and be proud of all that they accomplished throughout the plot. However, when I look back, I see where I started and where I am at the end, and no matter how much I accomplished, I’m kind of just like “shit, how did that happen?” I don’t feel proud and I don’t feel elated. I feel sad because I invested so much of my time and energy to make it through the movie and now that it’s the end, where will all that time and energy go? It’s like how I get so invested in the characters and their storylines throughout the movie that once it all comes to an end, I’m left questioning what to do with all that leftover emotion and it just comes out as sadness.
Eventually, I get through it. I always do. I watch another movie. Distract myself with a different storyline. And it all ends up okay. Life keeps moving and I continue watching movies – even though every single time, I am left with the same feeling. And sometimes I even get to thinking, what’s the point of even starting the movie if I already know how I will feel at the end? But I usually stop myself pretty quickly there. I remind myself it’s about the experience. The whole middle chunk of the movie. The part that has all the action and all the drama. The part that keeps everyone on the edge of their seats. The middle part is what builds character, tests you, and pushes you to be the best you can be. This is more important than any fleeting feelings of sadness and despair once the ending rolls around. I just have to remind myself that it is all worth it. Movies are nothing without the endings. I’ll take both the good and the bad over nothing at all.
– Avery
Mentally, I’m Here 