A common misconception when people are first starting recovery is that their mental health will only go up from that point. This idea fosters many problems down the line when they have dips in their recovery and are wondering why. Thinking that it has something to do with them, that they just may not be “fit” for the healthy lifestyle, and that they should give up. This discouragement that comes with dips in recovery can become fatal when you are not anticipating them. This is why, when starting recovery, it is so important to know that your recovery progress will not be linear. You will have multitudes of progress, but even if you are working really hard, you will have setbacks along the way, and it is a completely normal part of healing.
I have come to learn these dips in recovery as “lapses.” Some might call it a “relapse,” but that word gives false meaning to the term, referring to having to start from the beginning. However, going through a lapse in mental health recovery is not throwing away everything you have done so far and starting over. You still have all your experiences and skills you have collected along the way. A lapse is more like a detour in your road of progress. You will get back to the main road in no time as long as you keep working towards your goal.
I have been in mental health recovery for about a year now and have had my fair share of lapses.The topic of this post hits especially hard for me right now because I am currently going through a pretty long and tough lapse in my own recovery. For the past few weeks, I haven’t really seen my therapist because we were out of town and things were really busy, but during that time, I was unintentionally burying a lot of my feelings and not taking good care of my mental health. When I finally saw my therapist again after that hiatus, she helped me recognize the reality of the situation I was in – I had reversed a lot of the hard work I have been putting in recently and slipping backward in my recovery.
This was initially really discouraging for me. I was mad at myself for letting this happen and annoyed at the circumstance. However, I had to stop and get in touch with my thoughts. Remind myself that this is just a lapse in my progress – a small detour in the long journey – and that it is okay to go through this every once in awhile. I just have to work especially hard to get back to where I was.
One of the most important and initial things to do when going through a lapse is reminding yourself that the lapse is not your fault and you are not doing anything wrong. There are so many factors that can cause a lapse, and the majority of them are not even in your control. Remove all the thoughts that are saying that you are at fault, and put that energy into focusing on the things you can control in the moment.
Another really important thing to do when going through a lapse is adjusting to your circumstances. For example, seeing your therapist twice a week instead of once. Just last week, I met with my therapist three times because I needed to. Doing what you need to do, taking more time for yourself, and focusing more on your mental health and less on other things are all totally acceptable when you are going through a lapse. You may feel more exhausted because your thoughts are taking up a lot more of your energy. You may be worrying a lot more than you normally do. You may be disengaged and not enjoying things like usual. All of this is completely okay. Keep in mind that they are not permanent. Things will return to how they were and you will continue to progress in your recovery.
Lastly, something I find especially helpful when going through a lapse is looking back at old material I have collected in the past. Looking back at these things, like lists of coping skills and other important mental health checks, help revert you back to the basics of recovery. They also remind you that you have not lost all your progress, and that this experience exists to make you stronger.
Most of all, remember that having lapses in your recovery is totally normal. They happen to everyone no matter what stage of recovery they are in. You just have to continue being honest with the people you trust – like your parents, therapist, and doctors. Even when things are hard, keep reminding yourself that you can get through it. Everything will work out and you will eventually get to where you want to be in recovery. It will be worth it in the end. Never stop fighting.
– Avery
Mentally, I’m Here 